I'm trying to get him to fall asleep and as usual he is "scared" and doesn't want to sleep alone. Aaaaannnd scene!
Me: come on Topher butt, I'll lay with you for a while but you have to at least close your eyes and try to fall asleep.
Topher: but I'm scared. Why can't I just sleep with you?
Me: because I'm not even going to bed yet. Besides you are a big boy, Just tell me what is so scary about sleeping by yourself.
Topher: I just don't want to be alone when the killer comes!
Me: killer?! No killer is going to come baby!
Topher: uh huh! The serial killer!
Me: what makes you think a serial killer is going to come?
Topher: duh mommy. Everyone knows that serial killers love cereal and so they find the people who have a lot of cereal so that they can kill them and take all of the cereal! You know cereal killers!!
Me: wooooowww.... Well I admit we do have a lot of cereal
Topher: a LOT of cereal! You see why the cereal killers would come?! There are just boxes and boxes everywhere!!!
Me: well baby, let me reassure you that no killers are coming and the reason we have an alarm system, 2 baseball bats, and a handgun in the house is so that if anyone tried to come here and mess with our cereal they'd be sorry. So go to sleep okay Topher butt.
Topher: you are the best mommy, mommy. You think of everything. Just make sure that if someone tries to come take our cereal that they don't mess with my crunch berries or apple jacks ok.
Me: you got it dude! (Which of course is my full house throw back that Topher never picks up on because he's lame and was born in the 2000's)
End scene!!
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