Conversations with my daughter

Abby: I'm thirsty.

Me: well finish that boogerberry drink Steve got you. That sounds delicious by the way.

Abby: yeah it doesn't taste like boogers actually, more like apples or something.

Me: what?

Abby: I'm just sayin I've tasted boogers before and it doesn't taste like boogers at all. 

(We all look at each other and then back at abby)

Me: you've tasted your boogers before you say? 

Abby: yeah..... They go in my mouth sometimes

Me: ewwwwww!!!

Abby: oh please mommy, you are SO much grosser than I ever could be!

Me: touché 

Conversations with my daughter

Me: that was fast! (Abby has just returned from the bathroom)

Abby: well I was going to poop but the toilet paper here is crappy so I'll just wait until we get back to the hotel.

Me: the toilet paper was too crappy for you to wipe crap on it is what you're saying?

Abby: yes......

Me: what you're literally saying just so I'm clear is that you took one look at this toilet paper and said nope, I can't wipe crap on this crap?

Abby: exactly

Me: I'm intrigued to see this toilet paper

Abby: not much to see its thin, real thin, like super thin

Me: your moms thin, real thin, like super thin 

Abby: that toilet paper was way thinner....

lol

Conversations with my son Christopher

We are playing the favorites game. (Of course this was Abby's idea)

Me: Chris what's your favorite activity? 

Chris: Pooping!!!

Me: seriously?! No I mean like what's your favorite thing to do?

Chris: Pooping!!!!

Me: maybe you don't understand the question, I mean like if you could pick anything to do, what would it be?

Chris: I understand the question mommy. I don't think you understand that the answer is still pooping!

Me: you're ridiculous...

Conversations with my daughter....

To set the scene, im in the bathroom which of course means one of the kids has to come bother me. Abby walks in just as I shove a giant tampon up my twat. Aaaannnnd scene!

Abby: Mommy, what are you doing? (gross look on her face)

Me: Um, just putting in a tampon... (god dammit face)

Abby: why are you putting stuff in your vagina? I thought you said we are not supposed to put stuff in there... (thats a long story technically)

Me: Yeah, but Im on my period and this is supposed to go in there....

Abby: whats a period?

Me: well at some point as you get older you will start getting your period. It means that every month for about a week your vagina will bleed..

Abby: So your vagina is bleeding right now?

Me: yep.

Abby: eww mommy, your vagina is gross. 

End Scene

Random laughs are always the best laughs :)

Topher: Mommy. Did you just fart?
Me: Yeah
Topher: Ok.
Me: Wanna make something of it?
Topher: No, you already made a fart of it, that's enough.....




Hahahahah! I love my kids so much

Why I know my kids are more awesome than most

It’s no secret that I believe my kids truly rock. I mean I'm not even trying to brag.... it's just I am around them every day and while most parents will tell you that they love their kids so much often times they would kill for a night away from them. I am lucky that I do not have that problem. In fact most times there is no one I would rather be hanging out with. So let’s look at the facts:

Abby and Chris and their level of awesomeness at the ages of 8 and 5:

Their favorite restaurants:

Tucanos

Sushi King

Los Compadres

Favorite foods:

Lumpia

Cereal

adobo

Sushi

Asparagus

Steak

Bacon

Marshmallows

Cheesecake

Broccoli

Their favorite movies:

B-horror films

Rubber

Young Frankenstein

The Fly (1958)

Lord of the rings trilogy

Ahhh zombies

2 headed shark attack

Fido

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Iron Man, 2, and 3

The Avengers

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Sharktopus

crocosaurus vs mega shark

Favorite Cartoons:

Darkwing Duck

Smurfs

Batman 

Chip and Dales Rescue Rangers

Spongebob Squarepants

hello kitty

the avengers

Favorite Music:

no doubt

the beatles

bruno mars

led zeppelin

Jimi Hendrix

The Big Bopper

Buddy Holly

Bob Marley

Favorite Activities:

building robots

disco showers

making messes

art projects

drawing

reading

cooking

baking

talking about the after life

writing music

video blogging

board games

learning about vampires

jumping on trampolines

video games

Favorite video games:

minecraft

dark souls

Plants vs Zombies

demon souls

mario brothers

pac man

tetris

most of the apps on their ipads

little big planet, 2, karting

Greatest qualities:

kind

generous

funny

smart

sweet

always smiling

compassionate

crazy

their need for discovery

they are very aware of who they are as individuals

Now I know what you’re thinking... sure, all of this sounds like they would be slightly awesome.... but you would really have no clue. What little girls do you know at the age of 6 have read the lord of the rings books and consider the trilogy to be her favorite movies? I mean let’s face it, she drug us to The Hobbit the moment it hit theaters. How many 8 & 5 year olds consider building a fort and watching black and white films like the wolfman a great thing to do on a Saturday night? And have you ever stayed up until 6 am eating bowls of cereal and playing super mario brothers 2 until you beat the game? Does your five year old beg you to make asparagus for a snack? I'm going to guess probably not.... And none of this even really begins to touch on how big their personalities truly are... I mean talk about laughs for days. Even I am often shocked by the things they say and it takes a lot to shock me. Here is what I will say though. For being 5 and 8 my kids are truly unique and if you were ever luck enough to meet them I am certain they would rock your socks off. :)